::Fairy On The Moon::

You are a bloody bastard.

But of course you already knew that.

You already knew that from the start
So what am i to u?
Am I your fucking rag doll?
Something to pick out and throw once you get tired or bored?

Am I your fucking obsolete toy?
What am I to you?
What do You take me for?

Of course I tried forgiveness but I think I am beyond that. I am so beyond that.

I am unconventional.
Ok. That may be true
But that does not make a a ROBOT
Emotions
And that's universal.
Emotions are universal
I feel, like everyone else does, ever so deeply.
But what do you know of that?
Nothing of course,

Nothing.
What do you know about feelings?
Nothing, or course nothing.
Nothing because you are just a cold, heartless creature who feels nothing for anyone

Of course-But yourself.

You know you are a bastard.
I never needed to tell you that.
So what is this?
A use and throw policy?
And what am I ? A money back gurantee product?

"Oh gee, I just got so bored with my toy I wanna return it. Money back of course.
Yeah yeah..i know its got a few scratches here and there, its abit damaged at the back and the arm's coming off, but you know a good coat of paint would make it look as good as new again. Then yoy can put it on the shelf for resale."

Fuck you.

A good coat of paint is never going to make it better.

dawn fairy on the moon at 2/20/2007

Friday, January 26, 2007

When the world keeps whirling past you in a blur
What are you to do?
Stand frozen in time
Or surrender to the hurricanes of change?

dawn fairy on the moon at 1/26/2007

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Time really flies by! In less then two weeks, I will be back in Singapore!! Though initially i kept whining and moaning abt how much I missed Singapore and home, I am kind of sad to leave this place. It just seeems too fast! In less then a blink of an eye, Im back Back home. I do admit I miss home, the way things are done back home. The safety. The security. The wonderful (haha) transport system. The food. My friends, the family. However, there are things abt the USA I will miss alot too. The freedom. How everyone is so liberal around here. Like how everyone says they feel claustrophobic in Singapore. You never feel claustrophobic in the USA. Everyone pretty much does their own thing, and people won't even stare at you, or think you are weird. Coz everyone here is different. People here appreciate individuality..creativity..things that Singapore perhaps doesn't Cherish.

It's funny how everyone keeps thinking Singapore is a part of China. In fact, to most Americans (at least those that i have met), they think Asia= China. Like China is Asia, and Asia is China. And when i was explaining to my collegues the finer geographies of Asia, like Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia..they all seemed very mystified. And impressed. And to them Asia=Chinese. True enough, China has a huge population, but what happened to the Indians and their 1.5 Billion anyways? Most of them don't travel much beyond the USA. Like they are very impressed when i tell them Ive been to Turkey, Australia, South Africa etc...they are like waahh..and they are even MORE impressed to know English is our first language in Singapore. Hmm.

Funny. That day in the lift in the hostel. This group of Ukranians and Russians were drinking Vodka again. They were carrying plastic bags full of booze and chips. They party so much everynight, but yet never seem to get hangovers in the mornings. I am impressed. The guys kept trying to force me to drink their Vodka. They were like "try it..you never get this kind of thing in china". OR they were like "come on..try Vodka..its very different from chinese tea." Just for the record, we do have Vodka, tequila and rum of ALL sorts back home. I practically snorted out in laughter at the "chinese tea" comment. I was like "hey, look here, Im not from China man." And they were surprised. So i told them I was from Singapore. And they were like "Ah..Singapore china, same." (in very bad english with a thick accent). And i looked at them pointedly and said "Ah..Ukraine, Russia, Same same." (they hate this..they hate being compared to each other) haha..that seemed to shut them up. The Ukrainians def speak better Eng. The Russians completely cannot converse. (maybe just a simple 'yes' or 'no') And the Turks? that's the ultimate. I have to converse with them using hand gestures. I feel like a monkey sometimes. haha.

Most people here seem to think Singapore is like some kind of Third world country. They act very shocked and surprised to find out that we actually have MacDonalds and KFCs back home. And how our transport system is waaay more advanced then Virginia. And they are shocked to find out we actually habe clubs back home. My collegues seemed very disgusted when i was telling them how much I liked "sambal stingray". They were like "sting raaaayyy..Eeewwww" ..haha..they are totally missing out on the best things in life. :)

Oh well.

Its been storming like mad here these days. One days its burning hot, the next its storming cold, and we still have to stand in the rain and get soaking drenched during work. We don't shut down the park. Thankfully, Im not sick or anything. That's summer for u. :) Not quite glamorous sandy white beaches, and glorious tans eh. And cute beach boys (where are the cute beach boys?? I don't seem to have seen any here AT ALL)

Alrite..im off for now. Eating chinese food again.

dawn fairy on the moon at 6/28/2006

Monday, June 19, 2006

I hardly have the time or energy to blog these days, but I really shall try, so that in future, when i read my past entries, i will be able to recall my experiences here in Virginia.

Been really tired recently, maybe coz work is getting monotonous. We work long hours, doing very mundane, brain-dead tasks, and we are treated like bangla-workers. Even the local Americans cannot stand the management coz they say they treat us all like crap. Well, maybe they do. But Personally I just feel they can be kinda strict and anal abt alot of things. Well, as long as u keep out of everyone's toes..and just do your thing...carefully, you should be pretty much safe. I think what really gets to me would be the parents. I think parents can really ask the most ridiculous questions ever. Like sometimes, if their kid is too tall to ride the ride they actually yell at me, and demand, and ask me why their kid is too tall. I mean..I just operate the ride..i don't make the rides or the rules?? And as for why their kid is too tall..don't ask me!! Its not my fault ur kid grew too tall for his age! And then parents, who kinda rush, and push and eagerly try to grab their kids before the rides are over, causing us alot of trouble. We could get into alot of trouble with the upper management for safety violations! man..

Yesterday, was prob one of the craziest days ever..since I came to Virginia. Its prob the next craziest things I have ever done, next to walking across a VERY busy causeway previously with Geraldine. We went to this ulu-ated shopping mall called the willow lawn shopping mall. It was nothing except Old Navy, Barnes and Nobles (speaking of which, I am currently now very greatly deprived of any decent reading material..) and Krisy Kremes (not for the diabetic) In order to save US $1.25, we decided to NOT to take a bus from Willow Lawn, and to walk down to this place called CiCi's Pizza, which had this damn cheap and nice buffet for only 4 bucks! We heard it was really near Willow Lawn, so we decided to walk. Now , it really didn't help that the sun was beating down mercilessly upon our backs, and it was a sweltering hot day.

We had to stop for ice-cream cones along the way to survive the heat. It gets wayyyyy hotter then Singapore.

Virginia Roads, mind you, are not made for walking. Everyone drives in Virginia, so the pavements(or none rather) are really crumbly. In fact, if u wanna walk, u have to walk by the side of the road with cars zoooming past you, coz there aint' no pavements. Imagine, an hour and a half walk under a burning hot sun, with heavy bags, and dodging cars along the highway, and u get the picture.

I could almost see the headlines. Two pathetic gals, get killed in an attempt to save 1.25 cents.

Anyways, after the gruelling track, we finally saw the glowing pizza sign, and immediately everything felt alright. After a hearty buffet, I knew the walk was worth it. So we decided to wait for a bus back.

Guess what?

We realised that buses do not operate on Saturdays in that area!! Are u kidding??

We decided to track back to Willow Lawn. However, fatigue set in and we surrendered. We went into an hotel, and asked them to call a cab for us.

Now, Virginia is not like Singapore or New York where a cab is readily avaliable. You almost have to plead, beg and grovel just to get a cab. There is never a cab anywhere, so u must always call for one. And even then, it may never come, or may prob only reach u an hr later. So after waiting an hr for a cab...it was already dark..it was close to ten, and We were feelin desperate.

Desperation drives u on.

I decided that we were gonna have to hitch a ride from someone, somehow. Theatre studies is not a useless subject, esp when it comes to life-survival situations where some acting skills do help. After much thought, we decided to hang out in the parking lot..so we could grab pple coming out from the Denny's restaurant after dinner. (if we were lucky..they might be going our way! SO in the end, after a pathetic teary story..and some acting..we finally managed to get a ride back with this family. (families are prob safer..to hitch a lift). I think it helps to be Asian. Two, pathetic looking Asian gals prob wouldn't be likely candidates for highway robbers..or murders. Hmm.

Maybe.

Pretty adventurous and eventful day considering its Virginia. Never again will I take the wonders of the Singapore transport system for granted. Never again will I curse another Singapore taxi driver or SBS driver. Never again.

Well..not for a long time at least :)

dawn fairy on the moon at 6/19/2006

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Oh yes!! I have discovered a new treasure!!!
A new way to save money

14 Cents Creamy Chicken Packet noodles from Kroger!
It tastes good!
and its only 14 CENTS!! Can you believe it!!!!!!! hahaa
:)

Me and Glads are so mad abt savin money, we actually didn't buy blankets for our hostel rooms. I mean the blankets were 15-20 USD i think. So ex!! I rather save..and buy food. Hahah..

The room is actually freezing cold (we realised a little too late), so we now ..Ok at least I now sleep with 5 layers of clothes on and two layers of long pants.

I think I am crazy.
And I am prob right abt that one.

dawn fairy on the moon at 6/11/2006

I would love to go to Russia someday. Moscow sounds fascinating, and absolutely beautiful. However, since most Russians (from what i gather here), can't speak much English, Im kinda worried abt how I am ever gonna survive there. The Russians here realy know how to party. They are totally wild, and really enjoy life. Also, I can never understand what they are saying because their English is so bad. They never understand most of us either..so they are pretty much in their own world. They drink so much, and puke all over the sink in the hostel. Its kinda gross to be greeted by bright orange puke first thing in the morning.

Vodka and Russian music must be a potent combination.

Work is getting mundane. The park rules are really strict, and Im starting to feel like a Robot. We do the same things day in and day out. However, I am kinda lucky, because at KidsVille where I work, I see alot of weird and amusing things everyday. Some parents can be really quite ridiculous at best.

The kiddy rides are super tiny and have really small seats, and imagine this. This guy, who's butt is like ten times the size of mine ( and mine isn't very small either), asks me with great gravity(he was serious) whether he could get on the ride. My first reaction was a loud and long laugh. Ok..that was prob mean, but it was the most polite reaction I could manage. Everyday, I constantly hear hilarious stories from my collegues! All of them always complain how dumb the kids can be..but they always say the parents can be even worse. Like my collegue was telling me that this parents actually asked her(with great earnestness) whether the treasure in the "treasure caves" (this ride in the theme park) was real. And she was like thinking: Why the heck would there be real treasure in Paramount King's Theme Park??!?!?! I know..it dosent make sense. Kids are also often really impatient and bratty. the open the doors to the rides even before u let them in, slam doors on ur fingers, and jump out of the rides even before they have stopped. Oh yes, and jump onto the rides, even before the previous round had finished.

I always get the most kick out of the Bumper Cars. Each time I am there, I am always amused. However, there are times, when Parents and Kids really irritate u to no end, so Patience becomes a Slippery Concept. Some of the Kids are really young, (and some just...)I think they dn't understand how you have to keep turning to wheel to control of bumper cars, or you will get stuck forever. Sometimes kids get stuck, and u keep telling them to turn the wheel like umteen times, but kids NEVER even listen to u. They just sit there, cry, stamp their feet and throw a tantrum. And then u explain to them nicely that if they don't turn the wheel, they will never move. But they will throw tantrums. And the mothers are even worst. They dash into the track, while the bumper cars are still moving (!!) and then turn the wheel for their kids. I mean, i guess getting knocked by the bumper car prob won't hurt as much as a real car, but its almost as dumb as rushing across a busy street full of raging cars.

I think.

My fave place is the Ready Room coz I get to talk to kids and entertain them. Their enthusiasm just inspires me. I enjoy crackking jokes, making them laugh and amusing them, while explaining rules and instructions of the ride to them. I guess I like it when i get to interact with the kids, and they actually do listen to me! And sometimes, it kinda cute coz they have all these big soft toys they bring with them, and they will make their toys talk to me..and yes, I will talk back to their soft toys. Its kinda ridiculous, but cute. And sometimes they will be like "turtle wants a ride too", so i will place their soft toy turtle on the seat next to them, and put the seatbelt across the turtle. Its kinda cute actually. Embarrassingly cute.

The Slime Zone is the most terrible area to work, because all the teenages go there and they behave like wild beasts. I swear that American teens are really like riotous bunch. The most well-behaved are still the Asian. I am not being Biased. This is so true. The teens are so rebellious and rude, and never listen to you. They use vulgarities like the free fountain, and cuss like nobody's business, and cause lotsa trouble. We had to call security many times. Some of these kids are only 13 or 14 years old, but they are like twice my size. Its amazing. I am contantly amused coz some of these rude, loud and incorrigible teens love striking poses with their Bikinis inside the Slime Zone, and behave as if they were cover models on Sports Illustrated or something. It's evil, but sometimes I snigger at them because they can be so obnoxious.

Too much freedom and liberty. It may be one of the leading factors of delusions. That's why people find American Idol quite hilarious sometimes.

Today was my free day. Finally..a breather. I really Thank God for this break. I waited the whole wee just for this day. Again, we went to eat at the Eastern Buffet place. As i say, its not great chinese food, but beggars can't be choosers. And yes, I am a little desperate for chinese food. I have decided to eat these local food (prob in this order) when i get back home

Top Ten List of Most Desired Local Foods

1) Hokkien Mee(The moist, white kind) (from maxwell or west Coast)
2) Mee Pok Noodles, with lots of BA CHOK
3) Sambal Stingray
4) Sambal Kang Kong
5) Laksa
6) Hokkien Mee (the black kind)
7) Mee Suah Soup
8) Char Kuay Teow (as sweet as possible please!!)
9) Curry Chicken rice or Noodles. /Hainanese Chicken Rice also can
10) Bobo Char Char

Gosh. This is sheer torture. I feel hungry now. I can't bear to think of these now.

Why!!

dawn fairy on the moon at 6/11/2006

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

There are lots of Eastern European students in the Work and Travel programme. They are mostly Russian. I have been hearing Russian music in all it's variety. Russian pop, techno..and even Russian Trance! Who would have thought huh? But Russian rock is good..sounds very angsty, thought I do not even understand a word. These internationals seem to spend every waking hour drinking, smoking or blasting music. They really know how to enjoy life..(hmm..that may be questionable)

This guy in our neighbourhood went missing last week. He went to the campus lib to study, and he went missing after that. He was found dead this morning, shot in the head. It give me the creeps, because all that happened just around the neighbourhood. Night after night, i hear police sirens wailing continously. I will no longer complain abt the incompetence of Singapore police or security. I crave for the safety Singapore offers me..haha

I have been working alot of kids these days. I really enjoy working with them. They are soo cute! They always seem to have so much fun ( although the rides are really lame, and as exciting as a bench), so it becomes endearing. I think you need to really love kids to do this job, if not you will prob lose patience soon. The kids can get really naughty sometimes, so occasionally you gotta really yell at them, and be damn firm with them. Kids can be qutie dirty too Like this kid got so scared of the ride, he crapped in his pants, and in the car, and I had to carry him out. I can promise you the smell certainly wasn't chanel no.9, or Calvin Klein's Eternity. Overall, I guess I really don't mind, coz I really love kids very much :)

I am looking forward to the day I get to savour the hot and delicious, moist taste of Hokkien mee upon my toungue. I think abt it every moment, every minute. Its ridiculous. It's almost like an obession. I had cold Pasta salad today (again), but it certainly beats canned soup and cup noodles. (Actually, I kinda enjoy cup noodles)

Im going off now..the Russian music in the computer room is driving me nuts. It's rotting my brain. ( I haven't got much left, so its really valuable). Ok crap. I am starting to talk rubbish now. I am not making sense at all.. Its happening..its happening...

dawn fairy on the moon at 5/31/2006

Saturday, May 27, 2006

I'm finally back from New York! Hooray...or BOO rather..back to Boring old Virginia.

There are these black gals in the computer room with me now, who are totally irritating the
crap out of me. For the past hour, their incessant nattering and bimbotic chatter has been driving me nuts. Its so bad I can't even hear myself think! Gawd. They are so LOUD and annoying. If its one thing abt the Americans I can't stand ,is that they are ALL LOUD! (ok..i exaggerate...MOST of them are loud) I don't MEAN to be racist, but the blacks are usually the loudest of them all. And its really true. They are the ones who can get really violent. ( I am not saying others are not prone to violence too, but I have seen it with my own eyes) Sometimes, I wonder how come they keep complaining abt pple being racist towards them. I mean sometimes, their attitude really makes one....

Ok. Maybe it's their culture? I dunoo. Those annoying gals are finally GONE. I think my brain has ceased functioning. The number of "F" words they punctuate their sentences with, is amazing. It makes me realize how versatile the "F" word can be. It can be used as a verb, a noun, pronoun..wad ever. Oh yes, and a form of punctuation too, of course. Oh great, and now there is this annoying guy (their fren), who is jabbering loudly on the phone, and talking abt really retarded stuff. I mean, I don't mean to eavesdrop or criticize, but hey, I mean if he's yelling into the phone as if the other party was deaf, I can't help it if I just happen to hear his conversation. Oh yes, and since I'm irritated, I have every licence to criticize too.

Ok. that was mean.
They are finally gone. Thank God! I have finally learn the value of silence.

New York is very nice, and exciting. The streets are busy, vibrants and teeming with life! It is very different from Virginia, where the tallest building ( there are even buildings??) is prob like 4 storeys high ( the motels). New York is full of skyscrapers, huge, and magestic. The shopping is great ( but too expensive to do much damage) It is very cosmopolitan, and it is certainly a melting pot of cultures. There are so many different types of pple in NY, and so many diff cultures, foods...etc. I had a really good time in NY, enjoying very good food. ( Now its back to cup noodles and campbell soup. ) We went to Little Korea and had a sumptious and authentic Korean meal. The next day, we went to Little Italy and had the best pasta and tiramisu (ok...by Singapore Standards). On day three, we went to the Serendipidity Cafe, and had this HUGE bowl of frozen hot choc, with whipped marshmallow. Absolutely heavenly. But the food (and things) don't keep cheap, and now I am very much a pauper, and will have to survive on apples and cereals. I won't be surprised if I become thinner by the time I get back to Singapore. Just as well.

The Hostel We stayed in was..well..in one word. YUCK. But for 20 bucks a night, one can't really complain. The toilets were shared. Like on Bathroom per floor. There were six floors altogether. The hostel was very old, and in very bad shape. The doors were all creaky, the walls were all peeling, and the elevator did not work. We had a good time climbing up and down in the stairs. On the first night, we got stuck in the elevator, so we had to use all our strength of physically pull the door apart (or we would have been stuck there..doubt anyone would have come to save us) The hostel looks OK, in the daylight, but at night, it's really scary, especially since all the doors creak, and the walls are really thin, so you can hear doors and floors creaking continously throughout the night. The bathrooms are really scary, esp when you see what's inside the toilet ball. I admit, that part freaked me out more then anything else. There was a really curious smell, that lingered along our corridors, throughout our stay there. A little like rancid tomato. But I really couldn't place the smell.
Our room was painted a dark purple color. For all Future interior designers, architects, or what ever...a word of advice. Please never do paint you walls DARK purple in color. It is beyond me, why anyone would even want to do that. It makes the room feel oppressive..and claustrophobic. It didn't help that the room was really small and dark. I guess after 3 nights, we got pretty used to it, and well, it did help that we vowed to spend as LITTLE time as poss in the room ( a max of 8 hrs, only for sleeping) I wouldn't say it was a terrible experience, (though not a pleasant one), but it was an interesting experience. I mean how often would u get to stay in a place like that?

New York is pretty dangerous, but I just Thank God we are back safe and sound. Though we walked to streets at night, and lingered around Times Square till pretty late, we still felt safe. The streets were brightly lit, and very crowded, so I guess we didn't feel the danger. However, on the second day, we heard and saw this great commotion in Times Square. We were walking as usual along the streets, when we heard shouts, and there was this crowd shoving and pushing us. Immediately, we sensed danger, so we stepped aside. We saw 12 policemen (NYPD) grabbing this guy, and wrapping him up in the gunnysack. The guy was struggling and it took 12 policemen (this I kid you not) to hold him down. Apparently, the guy had a gun, and he was crazy or something. It was kinda freaky..but interesting? Many people in the crowd were busy snapping pictures. I guess this is not a sight you see everyday ( Maybe in NY, it happens everyday). I constantly heard the wail of police sirens and fire engines, even throughout the night. Lucky for us, we were very safe, we did not get mugged and killed.

Times square is really gorgeous at night! I am so glad we did not miss it! The lights were magical, and the whole place was very colorful, and crowded. I can't imagine Times square during Christmas. It would prob be like 16 times more beautiful. The streets were littered with very interesting and funky shops. There was this massive choc shop which sold chocs in all varieties, as well as choc products, such as Hershey earrings and Hersheys necklaces! So pretty! But the prices were...Hm..just as nice too..Haha..

SOHO is a very fashionable area. Actually, Ny in generally is very fashionable. The people are very well dressed. The place is simply teeming very culture and history. The Metropolitan Museum of Art, and the Museum of Modern Art were very impressive (prob can't compare to Washington, but its much better then what u'll ever get in Singapore). They place much emphasis on culture, arts, music and dance. Musicals are aplenty, and they were showing so many broadway shows!! Unfortunately, tickets cost a bomb, so we had to give them a miss. It makes me laugh to think how Singapore once tried (or IS still trying?) to become a "renaissance" city, or an "arts and cultural hub". It will never compare to NY. I guess it's unfair of me to say that, considering the fact, Singapore is really small, very short of resources, and has a short history. True. It's just sad, because I find NY more interesting and lively in comparison. However, that dosent mean I don't miss home. I still do miss home, the food, the familiarity, the conveniences...the safety etc..

Unfortunately, when one is having great fun, the days seem to fly by.

So before I know it, here I am, back again in boring old Virginia. I already miss New York. NY would be like an artist's palate full of color, and Virginia would be..hmm..I dunno. Virginia has its charms and it's at best, quaint, but life does get a little boring sometimes. Plus, it gets very dark and drab at night unlike NY.

Im off to bed now. I need to start work early tmr.. I need a longer holiday...

dawn fairy on the moon at 5/27/2006